Joke of the day

Guy: if you're here, who is running heaven?

Me: Er don't know.. who is running heaven?

Guy: lol its supposed to be a pickup line... I failed :(

Me: aww it's ok. Good try there.. what am I suppose to reply?

Googled the whole question and felt stupid after that. *screammmmmm*

Best feeling ever

Yesterday I had one of those moments where I felt really down, and because of that I couldn't sleep the whole night, tossing and turning around my bed. Woke up this morning and felt like a zombie. Did not have the mood to work at all.

As I was waiting for Big J to arrive; my little one, xiaobao, was at the entrance of the centre, he saw me and gave me this innocent smile that is full of happiness. He walked towards me with that smile of his and gave me a huge warm hug. I was shocked at first because most of the time when he sees me he wouldn't even care of my existence, or when he is near me, he would pretend to hug me then charged at me while biting his own hand (his way of attacking people). But after that, once I know he was genuinely happy to see me, my heart melted at the spot. The best part was after he went off with my partner he turned back and gave me another hug. <3  

Thank you xiaobao, you really made my day. Love you really much! We'll have lots of fun tomorrow yea? :)

#mylifeasatherapist

Lots of love,
Flo

HO?!

Yesterday was my kid's third day of toilet training, as we had so much time to past, my supervisor suggested that we should teach him some people labels, and so I chose myself as a target.

All he has to do was to receptively give me the correct answer, and this was what happened:

Me: Give me "Flo"
Cloud: *Gives picture of Flo*
Me: Good! Who is this? Flo!
Cloud: HO!
Me: *Death stare*

Yeap, my kid unintentionally called me a Ho. haha! Will definitely try to help you pronounce the "F" sound once we're done with toilet training.

I...don't know.

Today something really heart wrenching happened at the centre. 

I was recently assigned to this young adult who has autism. When I first saw him, which was back in 2013, he gave me this impression that he is not someone who I would want to be around with. He would sometimes stare at people, and it feels like he is staring into your soul. Also at that time, his therapists were just starting to work on his agitation issues and so there were lots of throwing and swiping whenever he gets mad. Quite aggressive I would say. But he is all good now, he has learned how to managed his agitation by asking to take a break!

So today I've been overlapping my colleague, observing her session and taking all the necessary notes. His targets were mostly related to his work (working as a cashier). One of his targets is being friendly while going through the cashier routine. And so as we practicing the routine, all of a sudden we saw signs of agitation but he asked really calmly that he wanted to take a break. At that time, I was really curious why he was upset, coz nothing really happened at that time, and he was doing a really good job at being friendly.

So I asked him, "Hey BigJ, why are you feeling upset?" He looked up to me in those innocent eyes, and said "I... don't know". It was one of the most heart wrenching moments I've ever encountered. I know it may seemed like it's nothing but the way he said it... it feels really heavy and he doesn't have the words to tell/ express why he is feeling that way. Also, he nearly teared, but he tried to controlled it. At that moment, my tears automatically flow out, it was really heart breaking to see that... 

BigJ, I will try my very best to guide you through this journey! I will! Be patience with me yea!   

Love,

Flo

#mylifeasatherapist 

Made my day

As I was relaxing in my room, reading some articles to past my time, my dad suddenly came to my room to tell me what had happened today in the bank.

They were talking to this lady who is working there; I don't know how I was brought up in the conversation, but my dad told the lady that I'm currently working with children with Autism, and commented that my salary is low. The lady told my dad that I'm actually doing something good, that I am helping these children who are having difficulties, and for sure that I'll be blessed, next time good things will eventually happen to me, like having a good husband. I can see that my dad was quite happy with this remark, and I myself was glad that he was too!

This is not the first time I'm hearing this, I remember few years back, my sister's ex's mom who is a strong believer in Buddhism, told me the exact thing, saying that next time I'll be able to find someone good.

Is this a sign? Haha, hope so! Really made my day!

Flo

Patience is virtue

"... no matter how tempted you are, patience is virtue"

An advice given by a very close buddy of mine after I told her that I've been waiting for a guy's text; I got to know this guy from Tinder (yes, Tinder... will blog about this in another post) and we met up just one day ago, but he didn't text/ call me after our meet up. And the thing is he asked me for my number when we were about to leave the cafe, so I guess he was interested to continue this friendship?

I find this guy to be really smart, funny, and we shared many interests. It was so comfortable talking to him, and I felt that our 1 hour of chat is not enough (well, the meet up ended early as I had to head home early for dinner)! From this meet up, he seems to be a really nice guy and I hope that we could chat more so that we get to know each other well.

I wanted to text him after the meet up, to thank him for the drinks and also to tell him that I enjoyed our little chat session. However, because of my previous meet up with another guy (the first guy I met from Tinder), made me regretted sending out that kind of text, I decided not to do so.

Oh well, I guess I have to wait then.

Flo

...hello?

It has been awhile since I've blogged about something. Just looking at it (my blog, of course), makes me feel so sad, because it's just so empty! I used to be so hyped up to write down what I've gone through with life and stuff, so that I can keep them as memories. Well, the cause? Pure laziness. And every time when I have the motivation to write, with drafts in my head, when I clicked the 'compose' button and wanted to write down the things that is in my little brain, it'll just go pooff! No words would come out. Mental blockage. 

I will try to make an effort to continue to write, AT LEAST once every month from now on (I always say that but I ended up not doing it). Even if it's just a few sentences, I'll be happy with it. This is a place where I speak my mind out, and I'm sure there's something to say everyday, right?

Flo

Another year has passed

Twenty 15 has finally come to an end. A year filled with many ups and downs.

Wasn't really excited with the whole new year thing, as to me, it's just gonna be another year filled with ups and downs again. 

Yes, sounds miserable but this is life. 

To be frank, I haven't been really chirpy for the past few weeks; I'm surrounded with unsolved problems which really bugged me a lot.  

Felt so uneasy, and emotional, basically I felt as if there's no inner peace. 

What's worst, I've been hiding and suppressing these sad feelings, and putting a smile on my face. 

I really hope twenty 16 will be a good year, and I will try and make an effort to make it a good one.

Flo

Wow I sleep talk!

Few nights ago, my sister overheard me talking in my sleep, I said "Masters of Clinical Psychology". Haha, seems like I am really desperate in getting into the program.

Day 1 of 2015

So it's the first day of the year! Well, I guess to most of you, it's suppose to be a day where it's filled with excitement and stuff, but it was just an ordinary day for me.

I stayed at home, as usual, lying in bed and watching some episodes from House. Both my parents and sister were out today and so I had to take care of my bro's lunch. I remember watching one of Aeri's Kitchen videos on Youtube, and she made this Gochujang Spagetti that looks really yummy. Since I had leftover cooked pasta and Gochujang sauce, I decided to give it go with a little twist in it. 

It turned out pretty good. I like the flavour very much, but too bad I did not put enough sauce in it, if not it would be perfect!! It was amazing that my lil bro was quite satisfied with it, given that he's a picky eater and also didn't quite fancy the idea of putting Gochujang sauce into his meal!

Glad that I've learned another way of cooking pasta :) and hoping to learned more recipes!

Well that's about it! I better start planning this new year's resolutions. Goals await!

Lotsa love,
Flo

Looking back in 2014

2014 is finally coming to an end in just a few hours time. Looking back, there were definitely some down moments in life, but there were also awesome moments that is worth remembering!


Flo's significant events of 2014

January - Attended my very first Church wedding!
             - Met my cute niece for the first time!
February - Nothing special :/
March - Made my first Mille Crepe cake with Nutella fillings (not a successful one ;/ )
April - Being part of my colleague's project - Autism Awareness day!
May - Bought mummy a mother's day gift with my very own money! 
        - Attended the procession in KL, Wesak day!
June - Bake a homemade Mille Crepe for father's day, and it was a success!
July - Went to Cameron Highlands to celebrate papa's and his friends' 60th birthday! Funny it is, it was also my first time visiting Cameron Highlands!

August - Color run 2014            - My good friend, Balveen's, wedding!
            - My lil Boo left the centre :(
September - Attended cousin's registration of marriage!
October - Participated in the Standard Chartered KL Marathon, my very first 10km! Finish in 1 hour 7 minutes.

             - Being a Scarecrow for Halloween!
November - Baked my own birthday cake -  Lemon baked cheesecake!
                 - Had my first Skype interview, but didn't make it through :(
                 - Increment!!
December - Cousin's wedding day! Was a bridesmaid for the first time! :)
                 - Participated the 12km Twincity Cyberjaya run! 

Well that sums up what I did in 2014. While listing out these events, I noticed there were a lot "first time" in it! This means I've been opening up to many new things, which is great!

I hope 2015 will be a great one! Happy New Year people!

XD

My dad recently purchased a new tablet phone and got quite active in Whatsapp.
Yesterday night he approached me and asked which was the "funny" emoticon.
As I was selecting the emoticon that was close to funny, I accidentally clicked on the "angel" emoticon.
I wanted to click on the delete button and my dad suddenly shouted "EHHHHHH".
He was so worried that I would hit the send button instead of the delete button. HILARIOUS!
I replied him by saying I know what I'm doing, I've been using the app for a very long time!

I'm guessing there will be a lot of these moments.

Flo

To my dearest lil' boo

It has already been a week since you have left the centre. And I am missing you every single day. I miss your smile, your warm hugs, and also you trying so hard to get my attention by climbing all over me. I really hope that the people in your new centre will treat you well, and that they have plans to help you improve. I am really happy that I have been part of your life, and that you did improve under our care and guidance. I will definitely pray for you lil' boo, and will remember all the great memories we had together i.e. you managed to learn how to drink through a straw. 

Love,

Flo

Stress alert!

When you feel the painful sensation on your fingers is getting worst, you'll know that you're currently on stress mode! On a 10 point scale, you will be rated as 10 (Very very stressful).

Yes I've been feeling stressful for these past few weeks, but I am trying my very best to solve my current problem. And yes, I have a nail biting problem. Don't judge me.

Flo

The hunt for the perfect gift

Last last Thursday was Little D's birthday. I didn't realise it was his birthday until he came to school that day. His helper was holding a huge white box, and at that instant I was in shock mode. In my mind I was like "Uh Oh" as I was 100% sure that the box contains a birthday cake, which means it's Little D's birthday!! AND it really was his birthday!!! We celebrated his birthday by gathering all the kids in the centre; everybody sang him the birthday song, blew out the candles and that was it. It was kinda sad to see him going home without anything, no presents at all as no one knows it was his birthday. So that day I told myself no matter how lazy I felt, I MUST GO OUT AND GET HIM A PRESENT!

I dragged two of my good friends out to the toy store to look for the perfect gift. It was a difficult mission as there were like approximately 1000 kind of toys there; Luckily I had a rough idea what he might like. However, there were toys that I'm 100% sure he will like were really expensive, totally far from my budget. If I had the money I wouldn't mind buying an expensive toy for him. I ended up buying a toy car that had a reasonable price tag; it can move forward by pressing the arrow button and also produces sound as well as lights! Took me nearly 5 hours just to find it!

I was actually quite worried as to whether he likes the toy car. As being his therapist for nearly half a year, he is very choosy in terms of selecting a toy that he likes. For example, he likes playing with toy vehicles a lot but if I were to give him a box of them, he would only pick one or two to play with. And I just can't seemed to find the aspects/ elements of that particular vehicle that he likes. But last Monday when I showed him the present, his eyes glowed and he straightaway requested for it, "Flo, I want car!" At that moment, I was very sure that he likes the present very much, and knew that I got the right gift for him. The best part is to receive a note from his mom the very next day saying he played with it all day! :)

Flo

A dream I wish will come true one day.

So it's the school holidays! And being Little Miss Introvert, I enjoy spending my days just being at home, lying around and doing my own business.

The weather has been really bad this week; the temperature was hanging around 35 - 37 degrees, another words, freaking hot! I feel so sweaty all the time! Sigh, it makes me appreciate winter even more! Well, in this kind of weather, I am very likely to take afternoon naps. This afternoon, I had a wonderful dream. A dream I wish will come true one day.

I dreamt about this little girl who I am currently guiding at the centre. I'll call her "Boo" for the purpose of this blog. She's 5 this year, and could only make random sounds to request for things, help, and etc. In my dream, I was dreaming about my session with Boo. I don't know for what reason I decided to try out verbal imitation program with her.

"Boo, copy xxx (xxx is my team-mate's name, and also Boo's other therapist)" 
"xxx"  

I was shocked that she said it accurately, too shocked that I woke up from that dream. *Note: I was still dreaming at that time as I was dreaming in my dream*. And the dream brought me back to the centre. I couldn't remember what I was doing then but I saw Boo walking towards my direction. She pulled my blouse to seek my attention, and she blurted out "I want water"in a shaky tone. I remember feeling so happy, so happy that she was able to use her language to communicate what she wants. I quickly gave her the bottle and fed her. That was the end of the dream.

The dream was so vivid and seemed very real. So real that I was confused whether it was really happening at the moment or it was just a dream. But I really hope some day she could at least speak a few words to express what she wants. For the past few months, my team mate and I have been focusing on her making the sound 'O' for open. So whenever she wants us to open the door, she will need to make that particular sound in order for us to open it. At the initial stages, we accepted sounds that are close to 'O'. Then, we increase our expectation. Just last week, as I was sending her out to her grandparents, she made a very clear 'O'! I was like OMG! I even turn to my team mate to confirm whether she heard the same! So proud of her!

Can't wait to go back next week to see my kids! Hopefully after the break they'll come back in a good mood as next week is consultation week! Yiks!

Till then!
Flo

Run like there's no tomorrow

Running may be perceived by many as merely a sport, however, to me, I perceived it to be something more than that; Running is my life, it is part of my identity.

When I was younger, my dad would take me and my younger sister for jogs every weekends. He would challenge us by taking long and hilly routes; though every run was really tiring, it was worth it as I got better in it. I remember there was one time we were jogging in this secluded area; my dad and sister were running ahead of me, I stopped as something caught my attention. I looked up to this "cliff" and I saw many wild dogs lying there, including little puppies. They were just too cute! I remember gaining their attention by calling out to them, hoping the cute puppies will come down and say hello. Well, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Two fierce ones came down instead and chased after me! At that point in time, I was scared and shocked, didn't know what to do, but my body was like "RUN FLO RUN!!!" and so I did. I managed to run to my dad in time, and he took a long stick and shoo them away. I did not develop any fear/ phobia of dogs that day but I was very proud of my running, the every weekend run paid off. Running actually save my life!

During my secondary years, I was quite active in sports. I participated in sports like Javelin throw, shot put, high jump and long jump. Racing was still something I love doing, and something I was good at. I took part in various races, such as 100m, 200m, 400m, 4x100m, 4x400m, 800m, 1500m, and 3000m. I love it when the crowd cheered my name and encouraging me to keep going! Besides, it was something to look forward to despite having to face those bullies every single day.

I stopped running when I started college as I had loads of stuff to do. Same goes to uni life. However, I started running again during my fourth year, as I find it therapeutic; it helps relieve the stress I faced. Moreover, I had a group of awesome friends I get to jog with. I really miss our weekly jogs people!!

This year, I took the courage to sign up for Standard Chartered KL Marathon - women's 10 km run. To be frank, I am quite worried for this challenge as I have never attempted 10km before and this will be my very first time! But I have been training "intensively", so hopeful I am able to get through this! 123 days to go!

Thank you papa for helping me to build interests in running! I really appreciate it loads! I will not stop running! :)

Flo

June please be good.

May has been an eventful month; some days were good and some days were just bad.

But thankfully I was able to pull myself up and go through the bad days. 

I really hope the month of June will be a good one! :)

Flo

Was it real or just my fantasy?

There was this scene from "How I met your mother" where Ted and Robin made a pact, a marriage pact. Telling each other that if both of them turn 40 and still single, they would marry each other. 

I don't know why, but I have this memory that I have actually made this same pact with you. Kinda frustrating as I'm not sure whether this actually happened or it was just a false memory (I guess I projected you and me in Ted's and Robin's shoes?). I can't just text you to confirm this as it would be pretty weird; plus, if I ever ask you about this, there's a high probability you'll never speak to me ever again! Haha! Nevertheless, I miss you friend! I miss every good memories we had together! IF that pact was real, and both of us are still single at the age of 40, I will cheers to that! :) 

Flo

 

Accepting Change

For the past two days, I have been thinking constantly about my kid, "Mickey" (not his real name). As the beginning of April, I will not be taking his case anymore and will be handing it over to another therapist.

I guided Mickey since the day my training ended. I still remember the day when my supervisors announced that I will be taking him, I kept questioning myself, who is Mickey? I have never overlapped this boy's session before and I am taking him (because most therapists have hinted that there will be higher chance of getting the kid you've overlapped before)! I was quite curious and worried at the same time, as I do not know what to expect of this kid. All sorts of questions were running in my mind, e.g. how does he look like? how is his personality like? and etc. But when I first saw him, all questions were halted. He was the sweetest boy I've ever seen! His face is always smiling all the time; whenever you see him, all your problems/ worries would go away! :)

Few weeks ago, my supervisor approached me saying she has an important matter that needed to be discussed. She told me that Little D will be going full day starting April and I will be loosing either Little D or Mickey. I was so upset when she told me the news, what's worst is I had to make a choice as to whom I wanted to continue teaching. I was in dilemma for a few days, not sure who should I choose. But after much consideration, I decided to choose Little D over Mickey. Reason? My centre focuses on ABA therapy (Discrete Trial Training). The approach of teaching Mickey was different as he required less of DTT; this was not the case for Little D as he requires DTT to learn. And so to improve my skill in DTT, I decided to continue with Little D.

Recently, my colleagues realised that I was leaving Mickey's team. One colleague of mine commented that I was "apathetic", showing no feelings towards leaving Mickey. What he doesn't know is that I was upset over the matter weeks ago, plus choosing between the two of them was not easy for me because I sayang them both and will not want to leave anyone of them. I chose not to show my feelings at work because I want to show professionalism; professional in handling the situation by accepting change. Besides, change is good. If we were to stick with the same thing, we'll never get to learn and experience new things. But I will miss teaching this little guy, and I really hope this new therapist would teach and guide him well!

Anyway, looking forward towards the new changes!

Flo